KoUsagi: What I Must Tell – K & L Files III
A Lord of the Rings fanfiction

A/N: There is the third piece of work in the short story-series of mine. It is the so-called first 
kiss told briefly in By the Gate. You can read KoUsagi's doubts and feelings, and how the 
whole thing was in her POV. Lot of confessing. Maybe too much. But you will know KoUsa 
better – she is not the MarySue you thought she is! ^_ -
Have fun (and tears…)! And still, review(er)s will be appreciated! *_*

Disclaimer: Still not mine. No, it isn't. I tell you again:  Krynn, Legolas, Middle-Earth are not 
mine, I just borrow it. I make no profit. At all. KoUsa is mine. The line "I  don't care about 
destiny" is from the anime Gravitation; it fit so nicely I had to use it!  


motto: "I wear a disguise / I'm just your average Jane / the super doesn't stand for model/ but 
that doesn't mean I'm plain…"
-Superchic[k]: One Girl Revolution


Run. Run more. More, I said. No, I can't. Short of breath.

I suddenly realize I hate running. I do. Sometimes it's fun, but for a long time? Definitely not.

You could've caught me in the first second. I wonder why you haven't.

I can hear your joyful laughter from behind me. You leap forward so slowly now, just for my 
sake. How dare you mocking me? I don't like that. I do like teasing, but not mockery.

Especially if that mocks the weaknesses of my body…
My beloved yet loathed body. I have at least thirty pounds of plus weight, nicely stored in 
adipose tissue. Particularly on my butt and thighs. Good thing my upper bodyis in better 
shape, though it isn't the slimmest thing in the world. Don't even mention the bit plump arms 
and fingers.

Yes, this is me. My body is far from the elvish ideal; though I love my womanly curves, my 
breasts, and my strong bones and muscles that give me the strength. 

I wonder how could you still look at me as if you'd liked to claim this body of mine.
Oh yes, darling. I saw it. You should be more careful with she-humans. We do have some 
instincts vowen into us.
I giggle. You would not even regret it, and it might have been an unconscious thing, but 
wasn't able to fool me, oh no. I know males better.

Darn. I ran out of breath again. My side hurts, so do my legs. These fat things. Fantastic – I 
grin, but I keep my pace. I am determined.

My heart beats louder and faster as I get closer and closer to that waterfall.

Oh no. It won't be any good… I am insane… I should not do it…
It's one thing to be friends with you – we think a bit alike and we have nice and teasy 
conversations all the time. Well, the thing is, I befriend guys easily, if I am in the "mood."
But I've started to like you more, and this is my doom. I can't stop doubting my ability to 
make somebody fall in love with me. Just because of my appearance; it gives me the thrills.

I know Men. They care of small, fragile, pretty women. The outside is the first. And then 
comes the soul. Oh, have I experience in that! I can't count it in my fingers! Ican be such a 
nice girl, but if I lack the looks… no chance for me; even if I am not a cave troll, only a bit 
different from the typical, slender Miss Perfects.
And you are such a drop-dead-gorgeous elf (oh man, maybe I'm a hypocrit…), so the matter 
is even worse.

Oh, how I hate the world!

Okay, okay, stop. I went too far. I must get real.
You do like me. I know. But… I want to love you! Can you love me? I only hope…Besides, I 
was hurt so many times…

Here it is. THE waterfall. Great.

I feel weak. I cannot do that! I should not! I am a warrior-girl, after all!

I walk to the wall of rocks behind the pouring water (oh how nice is the word: 'walking!') … 
It's like a silvery curtain now. Oh, it's too kitsch. It is not right. Sooo cheap! Darn. I need a 
much-much original place!

Oh no. It's late. You are right behind me. I curse the fastness of elves. Now I must tell you. If 
once I have the urge, it doesn't matter how many men laughed into my face, told me off, and I 
knew it was my looks… Or that I have a not-so-perfect face, though I think it's pretty cute, 
even if sometimes it seems just a bit too fat. And therefore, confessing, I only got laughter and 
pity and unbelieving glimpses.
Still, I'll do it again. I's just me. I can't bury it. I can hide the symptomes of admiration, but it 
has to come out in words.
I sigh once more, and turn around.

Geez. You … I am always amazed on the fact that you look like an angel all the time. And in 
these unique lightning conditions, as  silvery patterns of waves are shining onto your face – you are 
irresistable.
At moments like this, and only at these ones, I get so nervous I am speechless.

Oh, why don't you say a word? Maybe elves are so keen on nature, this truly wondrous place 
locked your mouth…

OK. Now. I will say it.

I play with my hair… with the stupid, half-wavy half-straight almost-gold hair. I finally let it 
fall to gravitation's liking.
I bit my lips (a part of me I truly love, since it's soft, sensual and burns in a sexy reddish color 
without any lipstick). 

"Legolas, I… I…" Oh darn. You look at me in a way that makes me shiver. Stop it.
Awww, now the eyebrow-thingy. Have you known that's a motion all women will worship 
you for? In a second.
"Yes, KoUsagi?"
"I, I…" Oh, no way. I WILL say it! "I… aishiteru!" (A/N:'I love you' in Japanese) Busted. 
He doesn't know this language for sure. My stupidity. Yet another person laughing at me. 
Good job. Good as ever.
"Excuse me?" Good answer, Legolas! Okay, stop eyebrowing me. I will tell you IT at this 
very moment.
"I just wanted to say that I think I might be in a slight bit of like, but I'm not sure, and it's in 
connection with you". I spoke too fast again. I turn my head towards the rocks, examining 
them carefully in my embarrassment. Now I can be buried. R.I.P. Tell Miya-chan and the 
others, please.

"I think I know what you meant."
What did he just say?!? Oh no oh no oh no. He will laugh so hard. I don't want to look.
"…And I feel the same way towards you."
Great. My imagination is playing tricks on me. I must've gone insane.
"Nanii?" I look up. If I am not sane, it doesn't matter what tongue I speak, does it?
"KoUsa… I…"
Oh it's so hard for you to say. Come on! May I help? Here are the choices: hate, pity, like you 
but, care about you but… Choose sweety and burn me. I look into your eyes as much bitter 
irony as I can.
"Don't you understand, my dear?" You talk so nicely; oh you'd better not hurt me. I bet you 
will anyways. 
I shake my head as a response. I look downward again, prepared for everything, shielded with 
past wounds and thoughts of comforting friends of an other world…

You touch my chin with those delicate yet strong fingers of yours, and raise my face tenderly, 
so now I have to look straight into your eyes.
Oh geez. Such a cheap scene, once more. Though I must admit I enjoy it…
"I love you." The words leave your lips, and as they do, those wise, warm eyes are filling up with a sadness deeper than the ocean.
Oh how do I understand that melancholic look. I also feel the same grief.
But I am overwhelmed with another feeling which is over every sadness and far from every 
word that ever described joy… 
I seize the moment as I always do. I don't care about destiny!
I kiss you as powerful as I am able to, while you let a teardrop fall…